Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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