I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize