I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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