dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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