i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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