She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
