I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
