Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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