if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
