yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize