Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nicole vs. Life
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He passed out mid-signature
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
