As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
