Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
