no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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