she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize