in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
