would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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