When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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