i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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