we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
