Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
