he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
