Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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