i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You are the jesus of drinking
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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