You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
