how can u be prego again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
