Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
