I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
