We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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