I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
