YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
