can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
