If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
