it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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