Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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