If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize