So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
