I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
