Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
try to milk me bitch
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