And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
