so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
