9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
