Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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