5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize