Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
