Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize