Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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