fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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