so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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