I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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