i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I believe in your delicious
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
