We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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