I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize