I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
