thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
