shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
